I’ve wrestled with perfectionism for as long as I can remember. Every detail had to be just right, and even though the pressure felt unbearable, I maintained the image for fear of what the flaws might reveal. And if the cracks started to show? That spotlight wouldn’t just land on the mistake—it would land on me.
So I learned to control. Control the outcome. Control the process. Control how others saw me. Because anything less than perfect felt unsafe.
When perfection becomes your idol, control quietly slips in to protect it. But this isn’t the Spirit-led self-control described in Galatians 5:22–23. It’s a counterfeit—anxious, rigid, and self-serving. And while you think you’re controlling the world around you, it’s actually controlling you.
Beware of Counterfeits
To embrace this counterfeit control is to exalt ourselves above the authority of God, thus attempting to make ourselves God. This prideful mindset is the same temptation that Satan set before Adam and Eve—to believe that food from the enemy’s table is superior to the feast that the Lord provides. Don’t let him deceive you into falling for the same trap.
For this reason, we should make every effort to keep ourselves from succumbing to pride and, as a result, an unhealthy obsession with control. The key to surrendering control, unsurprisingly, is humility. Because the need for control and idolatrous autonomy is simply self-reliance rather than dependence unto God. In order to die to self in this area, we need to learn submission.
1 Peter 5:6–7
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you at the proper time, casting your cares on Him because He cares for you.”
I like how Peter states that humility and casting our cares on the Father go hand in hand. When we surrender the right to be in control, thereby laying our burdens at His feet, it’s as if we’re saying to God that this problem is better suited in His hands than it is our own. And it is! The Father is so pleased when we submit in this way.
Control makes us feel safe, but in reality, it’s much more burdensome than simply letting go. Matthew 11:28-30 says that the Lord’s yoke is easy and his burden is light. However, in order to access this perpetual state of rest, we must take upon his yoke. We must practice the gentle and humble submission that Jesus taught by example while here on Earth.
Humility, Practically
Let’s look at how we walk out humility in practical terms. We’ll look at 2 Chronicles for guidance as we break this down.
2 Chronicles 7:14
“Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.”
Called by His Name
Before we can even look at humility, we first need to understand whether or not we are called by His name. Have you made Jesus lord over your life? Because if you haven’t, the forgiveness and restoration that God promises in the aforementioned verse is not accessible without this crucial step.
When we accept Jesus as lord, Jesus gives us his name (Revelation 3:12) symbolizing sonship (or daughter-ship—whichever is the most applicable!), giving us access to his kingdom and so much more.
Humbling Ourselves
Once we receive access to the kingdom of God through accepting Jesus, we become subjects of his kingdom. As subjects, it must follow that we subject ourselves to the kingship and authority of God.
Simply put, what the King says goes.
As loyal subjects, our position is not to advise the King or question whether or not His decisions are just. Our job is to obey and carry out His commands. Period. That’s humility in a nutshell.
What I also want you to consider is that humility in and of itself is a gift. Because God is the author and the finisher. He knows all. He sees all. And He knows best.
Defaulting to His plan, therefore, is the best (and really, only) strategy because His plan is superior to anything we could manufacture in our own strength. He works all things together for our good. We may pretend that we have control over a few things, but God is over everything. Even if our manmade stewardship were able to conjure a perfect outcome in every situation, we could never have the capacity to create perfection on a grand scale in the way that our God does. Our tunnel vision limits us from an “all things” kind of birds eye view that our Father possesses.
Thus the need for humility. By subjecting ourselves to His ways and following in obedience, we guarantee our own success and the advancement of His kingdom.
Prayerful Living
When we accept and adopt this heart posture of deference and humility, the practice of prayer naturally follows. The essence of prayer is acknowledging our dependence on God and our recognition that He is sovereign. Prayer is Proverbs 3:5-6 in action—leaning not unto our own understanding, but acknowledging Him in all our ways. Prayer is heeding the instruction we’re given in the Lord’s Prayer: to earnestly call for God’s will to be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Prayer is an extension and byproduct of humility. If you believe that you are humble, but you do not have a practice of regular prayer, you are deceiving yourself.
James 1:22
But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.
Seeking His Face
I love this part. Seeking God is not akin to Hide and Seek where we try to find sI love this part. Seeking God is not akin to Hide and Seek where we try to find someone who does not want to be found. God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him! And you can put that on Hebrews 11:6.
God is not hiding from us. He draws near to those who draw near to Him (James 4:8). And what a privilege it is to have relationship with the one who knew us before we were formed in our mother’s wombs.
Revelation 3:20
“Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.”
Turning From Wickedness
Isn’t it amazing that God doesn’t require this step first? He could have easily told us to clean ourselves up before approaching Him, but He didn’t! He is so full of mercy and grace. He is not a God that requires perfection before coming to Him. Don’t let the enemy trick you into believing that you need to strive for flawlessness without the help of God. That’s a good way to never find Jesus.
No, God realizes that we need to encounter Him first before we can access His righteousness. When we encounter the love of our good and just God, our response should be repentance. We can’t continue to live in sin and say that we love God. The verses below can attest to that.
1 John 3:6
“No one who lives in him keeps on sinning; no one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.”
John 14:21
“If you love me, keep my commandments.”
If you’re entangled in sin that has you in a chokehold, check out my post on how to get free. God desires freedom for His people!
The Reward for Humility
When we accept and obey the call to live a life of humility, God rewards us. Although access to Him is reward enough, in His great mercy, He continuously pours out favor on us. There are so many examples of this in Scripture that it would take a lifetime to explore. The general blueprint is this: we obey, and He rewards. We submit, and He always comes through.
Our foundational text in 2 Chronicles 7:14 is no different. After we honor what God has asked of us, He honors us by coming in to save the day. His promise is to: hear us, forgive us, and restore our land. And is this not a reflection of the promise given in Proverbs 3:34? He gives grace to the humble. Here we see a piece of the picture of grace.
With this grace, God writes us a new story in which the old things are passed away. What was once defiled is now redeemed, and we are new creatures. We are free to lay down the uselessness and futility of taking things into our own hands. Instead, we have the great privilege of laying down the burden of control and allowing our Father to take care of us. It’s incredible how our God can take our brokenness and turn it into something beautiful. He can take our shame and turn it around for His glory.
So I implore you today: leave counterfeit control at His feet. It’s not doing you any good anyway. Allow the Lord to restore to you the joy of your salvation by walking in submission to the One who knows what’s best for you.
What’s one actionable step you can take to surrender ungodly control? Drop it in the comments!
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.